Where it all started...

#mentalhealth #motherhood #helmetbaby #attachmentparenting #gentleparenting

My first two memories are bummers.

The first happened when I was one or two. One of my douchebag uncles threw me in a pool thinking that would teach me to swim. I sunk to the bottom of the pool and I opened my eyes. Someone rescued me, probably my uncle Ruben or Manuel. To this day I can't swim very well despite oh so many lessons.

My second memory is of a spanking. I did something that my biological father deemed so horrible that he decided that the appropriate response was to beat me with a belt. I know he was a product of his time, but studies have shown that spanking affects the adults children inevitably grow into. After hitting me, he left me alone in my room to cry. Years later I was outed to his wife who was incredibly homophobic. She told him and he came into my room in the middle of the night and told me he wished he could "beat the gay out of me."

Needless to say, my mental health and my parenting style are linked. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder and Anorexia-Nervosa at 15; PTSD and anxiety at 30; and ADHD at 32. I spent my late teens and early twenties in various abusive relationships before meeting my husband and becoming a mom.

I have two degrees in history (my focus is gender in the French Revolution).

I used to teach history at a school that focused on mental health.

While I was teaching, I lost my cousin and my favorite student to suicide and now I'm a stay-at-home mom.

If I lived in Europe I'd be considered politically left-of-center but in Georgetown, Texas I'm somewhere between a Snowflake and a Commie. Throw in the fact that I'm non-binary and Catholic and you get a weird stew.

At the end of the day I'm just me. I'm imperfect and I'm okay with that! Just bear with me while I figure out the tech side of things.